


bread n babies

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Fic, M/M, Ohana, intense cocking of guns, none of these tags are to be taken srsly, oh god s obad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 09:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/911740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sterek prompt, the sheriff overhears stiles whispering to scott on the phone that derek got him pregnant, he's taken like 20 different test, he even found a list of historical methods of detecting pregnancy, even his magic 8 ball said all signs point to yes. *cut to the sheriff at dereks door with a shot gun *claps hand* go</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ohana

**Author's Note:**

> im just crying so hard  
> tumblr user alreadyclaimednamefk came to me one morning and gave me this random prompt for a pairing i don't ship and it was really early and a beautiful confused fic baby was born amen

*sher riff cocKS hte gun*

"de reK"

*dere k apperas **inw olf form***

"y ea dad?" he woofed

"u baBY-ED UP MA SON heres a baby shower gift"

*hands derek hte gun*

"ohana means famil y"


	2. WHOhana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> write part 2 to the sheriff finding out derek got stiles preggers, twist is, derek didnt know he could get stiles knocked up, and stiles havent found a way to tell derek yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> m lauighing so hard it hur ts

*previously, on sterek with bralpha*

"ohana means family"

*~~~~~~~nOW~~~~~~~*

derek grmupily frizzled his mega brows

"ohana wHOhana???" he inquired 

*hte ptere hale poops out of teh ground (((again)))*

"the underage bo y got a bun in the oven"

dere K smiled, happy to be back in teh loop

"i love bread"

petere roLLEd him eyesballs

"not ah caRB baby a cRY bby"

"frakC"

*dereK runneded to hte house*

*derE k leAp like a lizard thru stiLES’ winder*

*stiLES GASPP*

"dereK ABOUT HTE THING*

*derek shove s his fist in stile ‘S mouth*

*dereK leans in close to hte stile s*

*deR eK smooshes his fcae against stiles’ oven tummy*

"ohana" he whisper


	3. to build n ohana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter throws stiles a baby shower, at the shower is, scott, allison, isaac, danny, lydia, peter, sheriff stilinski, deaton, and derek never leaving stiles side with a big grin on his face, when opening scotts present (a cat toy) stiles goes into labor. whole thing ends with peter asking what stiles is gonna do with the afterbirth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 6 a.m

*girlfriend buy avril latrine plays full blast inside hte house*

*insdie shot of the party*

"lets boob 4 apples scott" speks allison

"ok ay" agrees him

*scott sticks him head in hte bowl*

"scott thats the confetti dish"

*rEVERSE BAK TO HTE HAPPY COUPL E"

*lydia walks ober to them"

"so hapi 4 u 2"

*derek smiles the smile of derek*

*derek rubs style’s oven tummy*

"bread" he say happly

"baby" say styl E

*derek shake his hed*

*derek point to himslef*

"derek" he correct stile

*world sighs*

*scott booms out of hte confetti*

*throws box @ styles*

*stiles’ head catchesd the box*

*stiles grabs da box n opens it*

"kitTY!!11!!1111" STILEs shout gleefully 

*derek hisses*

*stles not gleeful anymoar*

"wwHAT" derek question ed

"uh oh" stile ssay

*stiles poops out hte baby*

*baby cries or s/t idc*

*peter claps him hands*

"now 4 the afterbiRth"

"wat" - stiles

*he poop da afterbirth goo*

"can i have that or do u want it" aks peter

*stilyes galre at him*

*stile s wraps hte goo in ah blankey*

*he cradles it cllose*

"ohana"


End file.
